It is what it is

There are words, phrases, that from person's lips mean one thing and something completely different from another mouth.

In the past months the Johns family has suffered two great losses: Grandma Bernice at 89 1/2 years old and Justin James at only 15 years old. I've not been able to go West and join my family for either funeral. I spent the days after learning of the losses talking to my mom, dad and sister. We did our best to talk each other through the mourning process. How do we remember the woman who shaped us with her love, humor and (frustratingly) deep bitterness? How do come to terms with the loss of a young man who's pure heart and joyful spirit was a beacon of love and compassion for not just our family but for our entire community?
It's not cut and dry.
...
I've found myself in conversational lulls with my family. We've talked a topic to death (no pun intended) and one of us says, "You know, It is what it is." Between us it says so much.
"I don't know what to say."
"Nothing we can do to change it."
"My heart's a little broken."
"Lets ride this out and see where life takes us/this."
"It's in God's hands now."
But mostly 'it' (sorrow, love, heartbreak, acceptance, love, joy, redemption...) simply is beyond explanation and definition.

Too many use this sacred phrase to say that they are lazy, useless, apathetic, or impotent. Shame on them.

In my heart, "It is what it is" is my phrase of surrender to my deepest and truest emotions.
Its what we say when even the most eloquent of us are lost for words.