What you can do

Now you know and love someone with depression. I’m not the first or last person you will love who has a bout with severe depression. This may not be my last go around with depression either. I’m doing pretty darn good now, but I have days when I see how easy it would be to slip back into deep dark days. I’d like to give you a few parting thoughts on this disease.

-Nothing you did made me depressed! It’s not your fault that I’m sick, and it’s not your responsibility to make me better.

-I need you. I’ll have moments where I don’t feel that I deserve your love, respect or even time. I’ll feel like I’m just going to pull you down into the mire with me. Don’t let go of me. Hold me tight. Keep me in your life and in your heart. I’ll push you away, or avoid you, but more than anything I need you to hold on tight while I go through this storm. I may not want you to intrude, but I need you to pester me and keep me connected with you and the world.

-Do not call anti-depressants ‘happy pills.’ Prozac does not make me happy. If I were the tin man, from the Wizard of Oz, then Prozac is my oil can. It makes my brain work smoother, and I need it regularly so I don’t get all ‘creaky’ and stuck. Life brings happiness not pills.

-Do not make every conversation a deep talk. I need distractions from my depressed thoughts. Tell me about bad reality TV, or great teenage books, or someone interesting you met today. Keep it light so that I can distract myself from the dark.

-I’m more than sad. Everyone has periods when they get blue, when they are sad. Sad is normal. Blue is normal. Being down is fine. When I’m in dark depression I feel numb, sad, broken, hopeless, worthless, isolated, worried beyond reason, and so very tired. When I’m normal sad, I can cry and crying is a release. I feel better afterwards. When I’m in deep depression, crying makes me feel worse and I can’t stop crying. Not being able to control my crying jags, makes me feel worse. It’s a horrible cycle.

 -I am not weak. I’m fighting every moment of my day to be as content and happy as a healthy person. Some days the routine tasks feel like a marathon. You may be strolling through days, but I’m battling to stay afloat.